You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
