i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
