the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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