How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
