I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
