It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
