something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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