So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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