Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
