hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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