sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
