Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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