it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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