There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
