cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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