She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize