I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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