If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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