she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
