I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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