So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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