So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I understand Curling. That high.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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