She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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