it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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