hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
