six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
