i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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