oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
