Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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