My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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