He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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