that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
