Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
