i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
