i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
