why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
