Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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