1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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