ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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