dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I would ride that face into the sunset
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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