I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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