My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
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you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
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The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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