areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You're like the curious george of whores
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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