if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
