Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
