im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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