I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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