The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
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med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You are a booty call, not a friend.
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So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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