The best revenge is premature balding
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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