Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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