u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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