C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
