i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises