The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.