Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize