you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
