It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
