You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
