well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize