Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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