a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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